Idiots

The two of us. We really don’t make sense. I talk, you start talking but hell I talk right when you even start. So yes countless conversations which don’t even start but turn to one more anecdote I have to share. It’s weird how I know I do this all the time but I cannot stop. 

You and me, let’s face it we are idiots. We have perfect bad ways to express emotion. IDIOTS.  We are bewildered at how people in love around can talk chat gift presents stare at each other for hours while we find it hard to even say a stupid “I love you” without thinking twice although I KNOW I love the living shit out of you. Plain and simple as that.

 We have a crazy on and off thing like the rains around here where you never know when you’ll be blown away with the things nature can do. Mother of God, we are such plain idiots, such idiots who love to just cuddle when most people would tread on to a new base for the heck of it.
I guess we have gotten used to the awkward lower arm, the silent moments with only low slow drags to fill the silence, the little kisses here and there and that feeling at night when the moments suddenly creep up out of nowhere.
Idiots. Total idiots.

 I remember this perfect silence that we had one time and I had this overwhelming urge of breaking through the silence. That is so random a thing to say but then all I did was just sing out a note loud and clear. Haha, and then the times when I absentmindedly brush my hair to one side when I know you’re looking at me and I try to act as if nothing is happening? The times when I will get all dude-ish and pretend that I don’t need you while all I want to do is cuddle some more. I will try and hide these feelings all the way. And maybe MAYBE someday I WILL consider the fact that you might feel the same. That you too marvel at my clumsiness, my dumb wit and my inability to make you laugh or to bake cake.

 Someday I will find the perfect words to tell you how I feel about you. Till then I'll munch on them perfect pancakes. Funny word that, perfect…

Sam B.