Dear you

Here I am having a sad day after a long long time. I am irritated as fuck, God knows why. I've been sincerely happy for a long time, rarely have had a depressing day. I don't even know why I'm writing to you. Sometimes you feel like wanting someone so bad, I mean let's see how hard is it for me and you to be together right now for a mere five minutes, just these few minutes where I can lay in your arms and breathe. Not feel helpless, distraught and troubled. Say you just hold me tight and say things will be fine, that days like these are there in little gaps to break your pace, to slow you down. Days like these where your past catches upto you and taps you from behind and you fall down on the cement floor with white patches on your knees.

I was thinking about my priorities in life. How I want to conduct my second year. What all I've been missing out on and things like that. And the whole 'not being able to do everything' came running back swallowing up all the amazing energy I had in me after travelling through Karnataka. The whole feeling of being independant, of enjoying and being content with oneself, that just sucked out today. Just one day to break the spell.

Just seeing your face might make things alright. The face, the warmth, the touch. Sometimes I feel like letting go, just laying there without anything anything in mind, a black mind.

Sometimes.